______DOWN HERE I AM THE QUEEN, THE PRINCESS, THE EVERYTHING_

ABOUT THE QUEEN

IN HER SWEET 21
ALWAYS BITCHING ARD FOR GOSSIP
NOW IN RP (IT ON SERVICE MANAGEMENT)
EXTREMLY HYPER ACTIVE
BUBBLY AND VIVACIOUS

loved me!

♥DARLINKS♥____*♥

♥FAMILY♥

SHERMAIN♥♥;

GARY♥♥;

PHYLLIS♥♥;

BRIANCA♥♥[SISTER];

♥BESTIES♥

DAVID♥♥;

ZUO YI♥♥;

♥RP PEEPS♥

ANN
AGNES
ALFRED
AMANDA
DESMOND
JONATHAN
JIN XIONG
ISABEL
JECINDA
LIPENG
NORLYN
JIAYUN
KEVIN
MEI LING
IRA
WENTING
YAMEI

♥FRIENDS♥

MARKKIE
JULIANA
SHARON
GRACE
JASMINE
NATHALIE
SOCK HOON
YVONNE
WENDY WOO
KELLY
IVAN
WEI LING
XUETING
JANNIE
DEON
♥STAR♥

LUO ZHI XIANG, SHOW ON STAGE

♥Credits♥

♥ HISTORY OF THE QUEEN JOURNAL ♥

October 2005
January 2006
March 2006
March 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
July 2010
November 2010

Monday, November 22, 2010

Weakling in love

Yes, I admit that I am a weakling in love and I suck at it. I sometimes wonder that why is it that causes me to be like this. There is mainly 2 types of girls around me.

First, is those who can easily put down the relationship even tho they have been together for like fuckin long or they really loves the person but break up with the person cause of their characters.

Secondly is obviously those girls that are like me. We doesn't have the guts to really do so even thou we always hang the words around our mouth.

I have been wondering why am I like this ? Is it I am not strong will enough to do so or I cant bear to leave the person I love at all. Well, I think its both. I always place him as a very important person in my life. But he just don't treat me the same way as I treated him. He goes out with his friends and din tell me and when I found out he dont think its a big deal. I wanna tell him how sucky he have been letting me feel but he always being the one frustrated and telling me that he is sick and tired of me saying all these to him. So slowly, I began to keep everything to myself, tried my best not to make it feel this way.

Soon, I became very conscious of the things I am doing and the things that I will say. I dont want him to feel frustrated again cause if he feels so, he will become irritated of me talking and will just hang up the phone on me. I can't get angry cause he will get more angry and we will start to quarrel and he will say hurtful things to me which leads me to think if you really love me, how can all these words come out of your mouth ?

I am tired and extremely exhausted. I only can vent all my anger and thoughts here. I still love him, I really do but is it all worth it ? Even thou I change my temper, he still do things behind me back which I really detest. My brain is sick and tired of all these nonsense and he is not sorry over what he did.

He have his sweet side too. He will sms me sweet and cute sms and I already contended with all these he is giving me . Is it enough ? Its my life, why am I always trying to make others happy but not myself ? Are you sure you want to spend your rest of your life with him ? Right now, the answer is NO. It is because I will be unhappy for the rest of my life if he continues to be like this.

I need time to sort my thoughts and feelings. No point wasting time if he doesnt cherish all these things that I have done for him and things we gone through these years.

THE QUEEN <3` @* 10:52 PM

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Tuesday, July 13, 2010

My blog have been dead since May. Many things happen lately . Whether its my grandma' cancer or be it relationship problems. It have always been so stressful .

The only people that truly know what you want is actually yourself. Besides, having so much things around you already pissing you off but you still have to fork out extra time and effort to maintain a relationship. You have to do all the planning and all the initiating of asking ur bf out.

They cant seems to remember what class you having today, whether you did something nice to your hair or there is something wrong with you . But on the contrary, you can remember almost everything of them . Like what class they having today and etc.

If you dont do all the initiating and planning of your outing with ur guy, then you will be worried that you cant meet them that day but to them, they dont its an issue.

Then you will start and question yourself all these :

Girls like me are everywhere maybe this is why you dont learn to cherish me. Why should I stay to make myself feel worst ? Being initiative in a r/s is too tiring, I have to plan every outing with you and make hints to just let you know, to call back when I am angry to comfort me. Why things have to be so spoon fed ? This aint love no more.....

THE QUEEN <3` @* 10:02 PM

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Saturday, May 29, 2010

Finally school's out . I finally can enjoy myself although it's just 2 weeks. Better than nothing , I shall say. No more problem statement, presentation and long hours of lessons for awhile.

Anyway, bayb have been working and working and his attitude and temper have been real bad. Maybe its because that he have alot of problems with him lately . I will try my best to be beside him . But sometimes , I feel that its really hard . I really sometimes cant hold back my temper when he suddenly say me for no reason but he doesnt mean it . But sometimes I feel so hard to tell him how I feels when he treat me like this.

He is my super good and nice bf so in these times when he is like that I will try to understand him more. Which that is what I have been doing .

People change and oftentimes, they dont know it until some people tell them . But when tell, the person just refuse to believe . I really dun know how to say anymore. I dun want us to end . But if the fate between us really come to an end . No matter how much we want get back , we wont be able to .

he is just plain dashin lookin

Bayb is going for his attachment alr and I am gonna miss him a whole bunch but I dun think he will feel this way . I always feel that I am the one more with everything . And its the truth. I can do alot of things for him, he just cant do it back for me. Maybe because I love him too much until I dun know how to love him .

I just want a bf who really can show me how he appreciate, love and care bout me. Is it just that difficult ?

THE QUEEN <3` @* 7:27 AM

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Saturday, May 15, 2010

Yo people, I finally able to blog happily and peacefully . I mention bout my my health problems and I went to see doctor almost every week but luckily its all settled. I once make a promise that if I can be in pink of health, I will cherish everyone around me especially my parents, siblings, family and baby. I will try to fulfill that part as much as possible.

My phone really died on me just now in the afternoon and there is no internet for 7 hours straight and I was so fucking bored. I dun even know how did I survive through the 7 hours without internet and hp . HAHA

Bayb should be darn happy cause I wont be able to call and sms him cause if hp malfunction . It have been very long since me and baby went together and watch movie alr. I wanna spend some quality time before his attachment. Cause he wont be in school if he is starting his attachment next semester. Its so hard for me to meet him when both of us are in school alr. Not to say when he is going to have attachment next semester but whats the point ? He doesn't even get bothered by it.

I want us to be like last time

One things come after another, why cant things in life just goes on smoothly for the rest of my life. I miss that kind of life that I was having few years back . I really do =(

and i miss them tooo

buddy, dave jony =))

THE QUEEN <3` @* 7:52 AM

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Sunday, May 02, 2010

HI ALL =)

Nothing really much happen . But me and baby gt a really really big fight last week . It resulted me crying in class and leaving class halfway . How more dramatic can it be ? Cause when we started to quarrel, it started to rain . But after awhile we cooled down, we talked things through and finally we were okay =)

My health is getting worse but I going for check up to make sure that I am okay . I promised to cherish everything more if I were to know that I am in good of health.

Anyway, FYP is driving me crazy with all the planning stuff and soon to come . All that coding stuff will be knocking on my door soon. Sigh, how I wish I am in event management course or something cause they get to go attachment as a replacement for FYP. But for other courses, we have to work ourselves of for FYP . So fucking unfair.

TSK TSK TSK

Starhub agree to waive my extremely high data usage bill but I still have to pay another 88 dollars for my remaining bill. Not forgetting to mention that I have to save money to see doctor. I seriously hope that I will be fine. *CROSS FINGERS*

THE QUEEN <3` @* 6:28 AM

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Friday, April 23, 2010

OMG , school just started and it also means that FYP have started. Me and ya mei have been working our ass of for this FYP. Fuck and its just the starting only.

So many things at hand for me to handle. Starhub charging me high hp bills and still haven get back to me, progress on FYP, relationship problem. I dun know la. All these keep coming . Damn stress. Some of my good friends ard me are breaking up with their bf. See already damn sad . Somemore they look so sweet together but everything is so sudden .

Looking at me and bayb, although we are not that sweet or what and we have constant quarrels here and there but our love is still quite strong I can say But for stable wise, I not so sure bout it . We have been together almost 2 year alr but I still not ready to meet his parents yet . I scare they cant accept me or any other reasons that may arise. I shall see how things goes.

Happy 20th month bayb

me and bayb

my chio shoes

LOVE THEM SO MUCH

Anyway, circle line is up and I heard its fucking fast 45 -50 mins to bedok. Faster than 168. One day, I shall board it . I swear. Everyone have board it except for me.

Have been hanging ard with bayb friends recently, quite a nice batch of people. Funny too. They never failed to make me and bayb to laugh our ass off for they things they done randomly around us.

THE QUEEN <3` @* 8:10 AM

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Saturday, April 10, 2010

sorry for the 1 month late blog entry . Busy wit lazyness and lots of stuff.

ZOOM ZOOM ZOOM !!!

How fast time flies. I still thought I had just started my holidays last week but holidays have already finished like 98 percent alr. When school reopens, I have so many things to do .

FYP is the most troublesome of all. But luckily grouped with ya mei and desmond so I can slack abit and bitch ard abit.

I spend like 6 hours posting this entry not because it is long . But because I get too carried away watching tv . hahas,

ANYWAY ANYWAY ANYWAY...

Went shi sha with baby that day, yeah and just the both of us. We managed to finish the whole fucking thingy b ourselves by we spend like 4 hours there. Its quite cosy. We went to a upstairs one sofa and cushions seats. There is also a damn cool vintage piano. The best is there is only us. hahahs.

We had strawberry . At first, it was abit choking . I was wondering why so I try blowing out some smoke and it did. It got BETTER !!!! Damn shiok to shi sha and enjoy life like this.

But boo, school is starting on thursday . Just plain thinking, I get shivers all over. But another holidays at the end of may. WEE. Going cruise in June . I cant wait , seriously.

My po po (grandmother) is in hospital and she had a slight stroke on her hand. she cant move it . I damn sad over it . Hope she can get better . I seriously hope so .

THE QUEEN <3` @* 4:20 AM

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Monday, March 29, 2010

♥♥♥

okay, as I promised . I promise to blog.

Something good to share, I called the freaking starhub and they are going to give me a starhub voucher . I told them that it has been freaking long since I have one . And the Customer care consultant was so good, he say that it could be done. hahas.

Maybe I really can get an iphone or a blackberry . Just as I wanted. HEE

On the other hand , something just piss me off when I saw some things on the blog just now. Anyway, I thinks that it's funny to read at some things belonging to the past. Like some stupid letter that I wrote for my ex bf ss which I think is completely retarded and stupid. Recalling back, I really think that it is a stupid thing to do.

Imagine when their gf saw what we wrote, how immature and stupid the stuff were. They will probably think that you are some kind of retard or major dutch monster. ahaha. Cant stand this kind of humilation thou. So I guess, I will stop writing any of this stupid things.

I have to many thing to blog bout . For example, recently, I kept hanging out at katong, and parkway parade . I beginning to love there. House are vintage looking, famous katong laksa is there, super yummy and cheap chicken rice, L4D2, dota and C.S in the lan shop, Mango in isetan enough for me to shop and lots more . I will be posting the picture I took in Katong with a DSLR =DD

Glad and baby

glad and baby (2)

baby

famous katong laksa

the killers

macro

katong houses

famous chocolate shop at katong

baby

LAKSAAA !!!!

Forgetting one point is that, it is fucking near east coast . Me and baby is going there today. Hope its a blast . we gonna go there to cycle and fly kite. How immature but I LIKE

♥♥♥

THE QUEEN <3` @* 6:59 PM

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